Helen Simmonds

image from Jonathan Cooper Gallery

FLOW by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

If I quoted everything from this book that I wanted to, the post would be as long as my arm! - here are my top two:

From p33:

"The shape and content of life depend on how attention has been used. Entirely different realities will emerge depending on how it is invested...We create ourselves by how we invest this [psychic] energy...hence attention is our most important tool in the task of improving the quality of experience."

From p208:

"We all start with preconceived notions of what we want from life. These include the basic needs programmed into us by our genes to ensure survival - the need for food, comfort, sex, dominance over other beings. They also include the desires that our specific culture has inculcated in us - to be slim, rich, educated, and well-liked. If we embrace these goals and are lucky, we may replicate the ideal physical and social image for our historical time and place. But is this the best use of our psychic energy? And what if we cannot realise these ends? We will never become aware of other possibilities unless, like the painter who watches with care what is happening on the canvas, we pay attention to what is happening around us, and evaluate events on the basis of how they make us feel, rather than evaluating them exclusively in terms of preconceived notions. If we do so we my discover that, contrary to what we are led to believe...it is more enjoyable to talk with one's two-year-old than to play golf with the company president."

photo from Milk Photos

Happiness

So early it's still almost dark out.
I'm near the window with coffee,
and the usual early morning stuff
that passes for thought.
When I see the boy and his friend
walking up the road
to deliver the newspaper.
They wear caps and sweaters,
and one boy has a bag over his shoulder.
They are so happy
they aren't saying anything, these boys.
I think if they could, they would take
each other's arm.
It's early in the morning,
and they are doing this thing together.
They come on, slowly.
The sky is taking on light,
though the moon still hangs pale over the water.
Such beauty that for a minute
death and ambition, even love,
doesn't enter into this.
Happiness. It comes on
unexpectedly. And goes beyond, really,
any early morning talk about it.

Raymond Carver

picture from here

Healing without Freud or Prozac

A book by Dr David Servan-Schreiber (thanks Andrew for the lend of it)

From the end of the chapter Love Is a Biological Need:

"Thankfully, this important key to our emotional brain does not depend on a partner's love alone. Actually, it depends on the quality of all our emotional bonds - with our children, our parents, our brothers and sisters, our friends, our animals. What is important is the feeling of being fully oneself with someone else. To be able to show we are weak and vulnerable, as well as strong and radiant. To be able to laugh, but also to cry. To feel that our emotions are understood. To know that we are useful and important to someone. And to have a minimum of warm physical contacts. Quite simply, to be loved."

From the chapter The Larger Connection (Quoting Abraham Maslow):

"'The best way to become a better helper is to become a better person. But one necessary aspect of becoming a better person is via helping other people. So one can and must do both simultaneously.'"

Here's the author's website which is full of useful info: www.instincttoheal.org